Posts Tagged ‘psychology’

dear all,

i request all child-right activists to kindly go through the following letter of mine and render your comments, valuable suggestions to take this crusade forward.

thanks and regards,

latha vidyaranya

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: latha vidyaranya
Date: Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 1:36 AM
Subject: ashley tellis’s article in NIE
To: ravijoshi@expressbuzz.com


latha vidyaranya
counsellor & special educator


sri ravi joshi
new indian express
bangalore edition

respected sri ravi joshi,

sub: an article that has appeared in zeitgeist section of NIE

i am latha vidyaranya from bangalore, an avid reader of your esteemed daily since 40 years.
i am a psychological counsellor providing counselling services to people of all age groups. more so to children with emotional and behavioural problems.

i happened to read the New Indian Express, 28th november 2009, zeitgeist section, 2 days ago (i sometimes do not find time to read the day’s paper. such papers i keep aside for reading at a later day, more leisurely). the article that caught my attention was by ashley tellis with the title”man-boy love could be a beautiful thing”. i was terrified by the title and went through the article fully that made me even more horrified!

sir, have you read that article? if not, please sit down and go thro it and see if you can agree with what the author says.
in my opinion, it is total blasphemy! you as a responsible editor of the bangalore edition, can not pass the buck to chennai NIE staff saying that the zeitgeist section is printed in chennai and hence you bangalore staff have nothing to do with it. this kind of explanation is just not palatable to us readers who look upon the paper as one that reflects the new india’s ethos.

the author has the audacity to say that the sexual relationship between a man and a boy is no big deal if it happens by mutual consent! is the author in his senses when he writes like this in an article that is read by thousands of people all over india? and the online edition all over the world? does ashley tellis understand that children have such impressionable minds and are vulnerable to accepting ugly suggestions masked as beautiful?? can a boy or girl (aged 10, he says!) understand the true implications of what sexual relations are all about?? can such young children understand the repercussions and serious consequences, both physical and psychological, of a sexual act that they can give informed consent to such an act with a sick minded adult??? he says that a group in netherlands is fighting for paedophile rights and he calls netherlands a sexually progressive country!! is giving consent to paedophilia progressive??? he mentions that a boy of age 10 can be complicit and a willing subject of a sexual act with a man! and homosexuals or others do not have a copy right on desiring children!! in the end he says what a man does with a boy or a woman with a girl can be a beautiful thing!!!

oh, it is just sickening to read that article! worse, i don’t feel like touching your newspaper again. i am a psychological counsellor who deals with the psychological trauma that children and adult alike go through everyday of their life when they have been subjected to this kind of an abuse by men / women not in their right senses. they carry this emotional scar all thro their lives, many times not knowing where to go, with whom to confide, where to seek solace from such nightmares that haunt them all 24 hours of the day. and here is this great man, a self-proclaimed, out-of-the-closet gay leader who openly endorses sex with children saying that kids know what they want and have a right to enjoy what they are into!!! sic and you ‘responsible’ people publish such an article without first scrutinizing what that irresponsible fellow writes! i am making great effort to restrain myself from using unparliamentary words here!

i want nothing short of a public apology on the front page of new indian express in order that it revives the readers’ trust in the daily. you just can not brush this under the carpet. we counsellors are not going to sit mum allowing madness to be termed sane and beautiful! i am not a homophobic person. i am an empathetic counsellor who tries her best to understand the dynamics of a homosexual relationship. BUT THIS MAN-BOY LOVE DESCRIBED AS BEAUTIFUL is something that no psychologist / psychiatrist in his/her senses would ever agree or endorse! i am copying this letter of mine to eminent psychologists and psychiatrists of bangalore city so that they may correct me if i am wrong and if ashley tellis is right.

you may please check the following link to read the article online:



mr editor sir, here is a sample of what your man ashley tellis writes in reply to some of the protesting comments that have appeared in your online edition of the same article. i have copy-pasted some of the rejoinders that that sick man has written in reply to many readers’ outbursts:

“wait a minute, maybe you are a gay man yourself since you know so much about gay men’s arses and shitting. Or maybe you came out a gay arse and that is why you are a true freak of nature. Now go crawl under that pile of shit you came from and leave the world alone.
By Ashley Tellis
12/1/2009 8:49:00 PM

you need help even bigger time. You need to start a nuthouse yourself and run it with your friends here. Insanity clearly runs in your family. Many women end up with the arse-as-face syndrome. Your arse is clearly your face. Go get it washed. Your top end is an arsehole so it stinks like the rest of you. I’m not complaining. If you can’t stand the heat, burn yourself to death in the kitchen, you sad sorry apology for a human being.
By Ashley Tellis
12/1/2009 8:31:00 PM

………. Taking this hypothetical situation as real, I’d be delighted if my ten yer old was having consensual sex with my best friend. ………………….”
By Ashley Tellis
11/29/2009 12:14:00 AM


sir, now do you understand what a poisonous and sick person you have to contribute articles to your “esteemed daily”?

sir, i would like you to first of all acknowledge the receipt of this email from me. then within a weeks time i expect a public apology from your newspaper to all its readers. if this is not forthcoming, i shall be compelled to construe that your news paper is an accomplice to the criminal minded sick persons like ashley tellis. further,we child-right activists will go to any extent to claim unlimited damages from your daily, through a public interest litigation, for causing inexplicable agony to the whole mental health fraternity.

Yours truly,

Latha vidyaranya

special educator & psychological counsellor

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We are reading yet another suicide bombing that killed the democratic political leader Ms Benazir Bhutto and hundreds of other innocents in Pakistan yesterday. The news item catches world attention and world leaders make an uproar when a world famous, charismatic leader is killed in such an attack. otherwise, hundreds of such news items that appear in news papers everyday very soon become “yesterday’s news” and sadly and conveniently forgotten!

Why do people get ready to kill hundreds of innocent people in such suicidal attacks? How are they trained to psychologically prepare for such blood-sheds? What kind of personality traits do these attackers have? Let us try to analyse.

There have been many psychological studies done on such attackers, who due to some reason, have failed in their missions and are cooling their heels in prisons world over. The studies reveal that these people would join such Terrorist Training Camps at a very young age of 10 to 12 years. The candidates are generally identified by the trainers by their lack of self esteem and self worth due to various traumas undergone in their childhood. Most of them have a dependent personality wherein they lack independent thinking and are very suggestible to any outside influence. Psychologists have also found in them a lag in their emotional and moral development that makes it difficult for these children to discriminate right from the wrong. They are generally insensitive to others emotions. These children find it difficult to develop a solid identity of their own and hence many gaps or cracks are present in their individual identities. The trainers find it easy to fill these gaps with their own pre-meditated extreme ideologies so that the individuals who join these groups find solace in acquiring a group identity and swear by it. As the training proceeds in the form of educating them with new ideologies and ideals, the group members are totally cut off from communicating with the outside world through any kind of medium, so that they start believing in what is being taught without as much questioning the authority. (as you all realize, our thinking expands and many changes occur in our attitudes and outlook to life as we grow getting exposed to the outside world through media)

Since they were opressed socially or economically or educationally or by the dysfunctional families earlier, they would have undergone massive damages to their self worth. The training teaches them that the highest objective of life, “martyrdom” can be achieved by destroying the evil in the world in the name of god and to such people god promises all respect and all kinds of happiness in heaven after this life. This boosts their low self-esteem to a new high! They are even lured by the promise of god that a number of virgins will be at their service when they go to heaven. At the time of recruitment into these camps, they are promised a huge amount of money to their families as a reward for the sacrifice that they are making in the name of religion. Since many are from economically weaker sections, this reward of money to their poor families also motivate them to join the training camps.

The trainees usually keep this information a secret from their families. This secrecy accords them a new ‘power’ over others who had earlier subjugated them in so many ways. Their isolation from the outside world and the strict imposition of extreme ideals make them rigid in their outlook of life and they stubbornly believe that what they are taught to do is the absolute truth! And very soon they get ready to perform what they have been trained to do with a smile on their lips and hope in their hearts that God would truly bless them for their deed! No guilt or no remorse……………………..

Isn’t the psychology behind suicidal attacks terrorisingly fascinating?!

Do we now realize the importance of nurturing a child’s mind with love and security and self-respect so that the child can grow into a responsible adult who can spread the same love and joy to the whole world and vow to eradicate terrorism from the face of the earth?

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I read this in Times of India Wellness column recently and thought of sharing it with you. Read it and contemplate on it.


Frustration is a shadow of expectation. If expectations can be dropped, then disappointments can disappear. With out expectations we are free to move into the unknown and accept what we receive with gratitude. This makes the breeze blow always and does not allow the dust to settle in our lives. When we open the window, the sunshine comes in, breeze blows and fragrance of flowers from the garden wafts in, all unexpectedly, that add freshness to our lives.

Life is pregnant with the unknown. Drop the past and die each moment and be born again to experience the new and unexpected. Then you will remain in an unfrozen state ready to flow along.


case after case that i meet at my counselling centre come to me with a baggage of disappointments, unable to bear them, unable to drop them and move on in life. they get stuck, brood and brood and get into depression………………. if only we can imbibe the philosophy quoted above, how light hearted can we all be!

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