Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘expectations’

Ms prabha arcalgud has this to say on children to follow footsteps of parents?! While re…

While there is one kind of parenting where doctor wants his son to be a doc and mom wants daughter to wear her jewellry, there is an other kind of parenting which is equally difficult to all involved. That’s when a parent(or even worse both parents) wants his/her children to be everything he/she could not be. They want them to have everything they ever dreamt of having growing up and then live the dreams they used to dream as youngsters. This creates so much pressure for both parents and children. There is always an underlying sense of fear in such relationships. Parents fear for the safety of the children not willing to let go. Children fear disappointing parents by crossing the line. Children should be like a packet of seeds of flowering plants that one possess. You plant the seeds, nurture the seedlings and give them the best care you can give. All along you don’t know what colour or size or form the flowers will turn out. But when the flowers bloom you sit back and enjoy the variety in size, shape, colour and fragrance! Just pure JOY!

Seeking joy and happiness in an other person’s happiness is one of the hardest convictions to follow in life.

Read Full Post »

I read this in Times of India Wellness column recently and thought of sharing it with you. Read it and contemplate on it.

************************************************************************************

Frustration is a shadow of expectation. If expectations can be dropped, then disappointments can disappear. With out expectations we are free to move into the unknown and accept what we receive with gratitude. This makes the breeze blow always and does not allow the dust to settle in our lives. When we open the window, the sunshine comes in, breeze blows and fragrance of flowers from the garden wafts in, all unexpectedly, that add freshness to our lives.

Life is pregnant with the unknown. Drop the past and die each moment and be born again to experience the new and unexpected. Then you will remain in an unfrozen state ready to flow along.

***************************************************************************

case after case that i meet at my counselling centre come to me with a baggage of disappointments, unable to bear them, unable to drop them and move on in life. they get stuck, brood and brood and get into depression………………. if only we can imbibe the philosophy quoted above, how light hearted can we all be!

Read Full Post »

Children to follow footsteps of parents?!

While reading a post on “Rambling with Bellur” Blog (link provided on my page), i had made a comment on why people want sons and daughters to be like their parents. i am posting a part of that comment here.

the very title A son need not be like his father made me wonder why we are all so bent upon finding the parent in the child always. Why do we expect the son to be like father and the daughter to be like mother?! Why do we not allow the son to be the son himself and daughter to be the daughter herself?? At one point we all say ‘variety is the spice of life’ and at other times we do not want to see variety but expect everybody to conform to certain ‘standards’ that society has defined. Anybody not conforming to these standards are shunned and not accepted easily. Instead, if we find variations why not we celebrate the differences?

Perhaps this is due to the fact that we all desire immortality in some way or the other. If a doctor’s son/daughter becomes a doctor, the father feels a pride in perpetuating his profession through his son/daughter thus preserving himself through his profession to posterity, amounting to a degree of immortality. He is going to outlive himself through his child! Same may be the reason why people hanker after constructing houses or hoarding jewellery. When their children live in those houses after them, they would still continue to live through those houses or when the daughter wears a mother’s jewellery, mother’s memories are kept intact thus immortalizing the person!

When this is the state we are in, we can imagine how difficult it is to de-identify oneself from this body-mind-intellect complex – as directed in our spiritual texts !

Read Full Post »