i request all child-right activists to kindly go through the following letter of mine and render your comments, valuable suggestions to take this crusade forward.

thanks and regards,

latha vidyaranya

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: latha vidyaranya
Date: Thu, Dec 17, 2009 at 1:36 AM
Subject: ashley tellis’s article in NIE
To: ravijoshi@expressbuzz.com

from

latha vidyaranya
counsellor & special educator
malleshwaram
bangalore

to

sri ravi joshi
editor
new indian express
bangalore edition

respected sri ravi joshi,

sub: an article that has appeared in zeitgeist section of NIE

i am latha vidyaranya from bangalore, an avid reader of your esteemed daily since 40 years.
i am a psychological counsellor providing counselling services to people of all age groups. more so to children with emotional and behavioural problems.

i happened to read the New Indian Express, 28th november 2009, zeitgeist section, 2 days ago (i sometimes do not find time to read the day’s paper. such papers i keep aside for reading at a later day, more leisurely). the article that caught my attention was by ashley tellis with the title”man-boy love could be a beautiful thing”. i was terrified by the title and went through the article fully that made me even more horrified!

sir, have you read that article? if not, please sit down and go thro it and see if you can agree with what the author says.
in my opinion, it is total blasphemy! you as a responsible editor of the bangalore edition, can not pass the buck to chennai NIE staff saying that the zeitgeist section is printed in chennai and hence you bangalore staff have nothing to do with it. this kind of explanation is just not palatable to us readers who look upon the paper as one that reflects the new india’s ethos.

the author has the audacity to say that the sexual relationship between a man and a boy is no big deal if it happens by mutual consent! is the author in his senses when he writes like this in an article that is read by thousands of people all over india? and the online edition all over the world? does ashley tellis understand that children have such impressionable minds and are vulnerable to accepting ugly suggestions masked as beautiful?? can a boy or girl (aged 10, he says!) understand the true implications of what sexual relations are all about?? can such young children understand the repercussions and serious consequences, both physical and psychological, of a sexual act that they can give informed consent to such an act with a sick minded adult??? he says that a group in netherlands is fighting for paedophile rights and he calls netherlands a sexually progressive country!! is giving consent to paedophilia progressive??? he mentions that a boy of age 10 can be complicit and a willing subject of a sexual act with a man! and homosexuals or others do not have a copy right on desiring children!! in the end he says what a man does with a boy or a woman with a girl can be a beautiful thing!!!

oh, it is just sickening to read that article! worse, i don’t feel like touching your newspaper again. i am a psychological counsellor who deals with the psychological trauma that children and adult alike go through everyday of their life when they have been subjected to this kind of an abuse by men / women not in their right senses. they carry this emotional scar all thro their lives, many times not knowing where to go, with whom to confide, where to seek solace from such nightmares that haunt them all 24 hours of the day. and here is this great man, a self-proclaimed, out-of-the-closet gay leader who openly endorses sex with children saying that kids know what they want and have a right to enjoy what they are into!!! sic and you ‘responsible’ people publish such an article without first scrutinizing what that irresponsible fellow writes! i am making great effort to restrain myself from using unparliamentary words here!

i want nothing short of a public apology on the front page of new indian express in order that it revives the readers’ trust in the daily. you just can not brush this under the carpet. we counsellors are not going to sit mum allowing madness to be termed sane and beautiful! i am not a homophobic person. i am an empathetic counsellor who tries her best to understand the dynamics of a homosexual relationship. BUT THIS MAN-BOY LOVE DESCRIBED AS BEAUTIFUL is something that no psychologist / psychiatrist in his/her senses would ever agree or endorse! i am copying this letter of mine to eminent psychologists and psychiatrists of bangalore city so that they may correct me if i am wrong and if ashley tellis is right.

you may please check the following link to read the article online:

http://www.expressbuzz.com/edition/story.aspx?Title=Man-boy%20love%20could%20be%20a%20beautiful%20thing&artid=HPq2oe9lui0=

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mr editor sir, here is a sample of what your man ashley tellis writes in reply to some of the protesting comments that have appeared in your online edition of the same article. i have copy-pasted some of the rejoinders that that sick man has written in reply to many readers’ outbursts:

“wait a minute, maybe you are a gay man yourself since you know so much about gay men’s arses and shitting. Or maybe you came out a gay arse and that is why you are a true freak of nature. Now go crawl under that pile of shit you came from and leave the world alone.
By Ashley Tellis
12/1/2009 8:49:00 PM

you need help even bigger time. You need to start a nuthouse yourself and run it with your friends here. Insanity clearly runs in your family. Many women end up with the arse-as-face syndrome. Your arse is clearly your face. Go get it washed. Your top end is an arsehole so it stinks like the rest of you. I’m not complaining. If you can’t stand the heat, burn yourself to death in the kitchen, you sad sorry apology for a human being.
By Ashley Tellis
12/1/2009 8:31:00 PM

………. Taking this hypothetical situation as real, I’d be delighted if my ten yer old was having consensual sex with my best friend. ………………….”
By Ashley Tellis
11/29/2009 12:14:00 AM

******************************************************************************************************************************

sir, now do you understand what a poisonous and sick person you have to contribute articles to your “esteemed daily”?

sir, i would like you to first of all acknowledge the receipt of this email from me. then within a weeks time i expect a public apology from your newspaper to all its readers. if this is not forthcoming, i shall be compelled to construe that your news paper is an accomplice to the criminal minded sick persons like ashley tellis. further,we child-right activists will go to any extent to claim unlimited damages from your daily, through a public interest litigation, for causing inexplicable agony to the whole mental health fraternity.

Yours truly,

Latha vidyaranya

special educator & psychological counsellor

smt RAMA MANI
psuswaram@gmail.com
no. 894, 5th main, ayyappa nagar
jalahalli west
bangalore 560 015

tel: 2839 6444, 98802 02345

PRAYATNA
Dr Aruna Shankara narayan
# 26, Palace Road, near Mt Carmel College, Bangalore
Tel: 2228 0831

BAALA  SUMA
Mrs Mangala Kanabargi
# 18, ground floor, 1sr cross, shakthi ganapathi nagar, basaweshwar nagar, bangalore.
tel: 2323 1163

SRISHTI Academy
KHB Colony, Basweshwar nagar 2nd stage, Bangalore
Tel: 2320 4875,  2311 3419

SUDHEEKSHA
Mrs Leela Reddy
Rajaji Nagar 4th Block, Bangalore
Tel: 2312 7745

PRAYATNA
Dr Aruna Shankara narayan
# 26, Palace Road, near Mt Carmel College, Bangalore
Tel: 2228 0831

Mrs Aparna Kalyanpur
Sharnag Apartments, 18th Cross, Malleshwaram, Bangalore
Tel: 2334 5731,  98451 98256

PARIVARTHAN
mrs malini sridhar
# 3310, 8th cross, 13th main, HAL 2nd stage, Indiranagar, tel: 2529 8686, 2527 3462

Spastic Society
Diagnostic & Research Centre
Mrs Vijaya prema
# 31, 5th cross, off 5th main, 1st stage Indiranagar
tel: 4074 5900, 2528 0935

Brindavan Education Centre
2nd Block, Jayanagar, Bangalore
tel: 2656 7311, 98868 21812

Mrs Akhila Sadashivan
Banagiri Nagar (near BSK 2nd stage)
tel: 2657 4077, 98867 01959

There are many resource centres in Bangalore that offer coaching to students who take up the syllabus of National Institute of Open Schooling. The list can be had through the Resource Directory published by Banjara Academy, Bangalore. Tel: 2353 5787, 2353 5766.

(the list above is only indicative. not comprehensive)

here is a great opportunity to all of you to learn conversing in sanskrit language, just in two days!

here is a detailed info (i have cut n pasted the info from a mail that i have received)

*************************************************************************************************

Thanks & regards,

Guru

9986362187

***************************************************************************************************************

let us all join and take pride in samskrita language which is the “mother-of -all-languages”.

All details can be had from its pospectus online.

There are also some schools who teach NIOS syllabus in regular classes from 8th Standard onwards. Here is the list:

Asha Kiran Special Need School (Integrated School), # 15, 7th Main, Indira Nagar 2nd Stage, Bangalore 560038. Tel: 25258159.

Deepika School (Integrated School), 28th Main, 35th Cross, Jayanagar 4th T Block, Bangalore 560011 Principal: Smt Seetha krishnamurthy, Tel: 26645767

Deepika School (Branch), #2805, 14th B Main, 8-E Cross, Attiguppe, Vijayanagar, Bangalore. Smt. Hema Nataraj Tel: 2339 3222

Poorna School, Opposite DPS Bangalore North, Sathnur Village, Bagalur Post, Jalla Hobli, Bangalore 49. Smt Indira Vijayasimha, Tel: 2279 2042

Parijma Learning Centre, BTS Depot Road, Wilson Garden, Bangalore 27. Ms Archana, Tel: 2223 8534, 2224 3634

Kensri School, Mariya Street, Mariyanna Palya, Bangalore 24, Tel: 2353 3528, 2353 7665

Larkspur House of Learning, # 3/4, Berlie Street Cross, Langford Town, Bangalore. Tel: 2272 7183, 98807 11736

Iyer High School, HMT Main Road, Mathikere, Bangalore 54. Tel; 23372714

Nehru Open School, St John’s Chrch Road, Bangalore 05. Tel: 2546 0531

Spastic Society of karnataka, # 31, 5th Cross, Off 5th Main, Indiranagar 1st Stage, Bangalore 38. Tel: 2528 1831, 2527 4633

Cluny Convent High School, 11th Main, 14th Cross, Malleshwaram, Bangalore 03.

Baldwins Girls High School, Richmond Circle, Bangalore

 There may be many other Institutions in Bangalore that are offering NIOS syllabus. Readers may kindly add to the list.

Banjara Academy, a counselling centre for emotional issues, chaired by Dr. Ali Khwaja, situated in RT Nagar, Bangalore, has publised a Resource Directory listing out various institutions and individuals in Bangalore who are helping children with Learning Disability. The Directory is available at their office for sale. You may please contact them on phones : 2353 5787 and 2353 5766

Best wishes to all.

How true the Upanishadic statement is! Well, I do not have to certify it as the Truth. I am only happy that the Truth of the statement has dawned upon me! I am humbled by the statement. We all have to live this day as if Tomorrow does not exist for us. And if Today were the last day of my life, what do I need to do? ………………………. for the realisation of the Ultimate Truth! ………… well, I do not do anything, I do not seek anything, I just dis-cover by shedding all false identities

Then why am I wasting my time here blogging??? What am I gaining out of this activity?? – other than the fact that it is nurturing my Ego day by day as I see an increase in the number of hits that my Blog receives…………………. and inflating my Ego by basking in all the appreciation that I receive for the posts that I write!……………. it is all ‘me’ and ‘mine’ that increases the restlessness of mind……………… what post to write next? what reply to give to comments? what rejoinders to write?…………………. all reinforcing the “I”………………

No, this is not what I want. There are more important things to realise having born as a human being. More interesting Knowledge to achieve, realise from within, for which I need to devote my Time. I can not while away my time in the illusion that I am the saviour of everybody by providing information about Psychology and Philosophy ……………….. that is my foolishness, my ajnaana……………………..

Dears, I love you all. But I can not get entrapped in this attachment. I need to wriggle out of this. I shall keep in touch with you all whenever I have something interesting to share……………………. but I need to go now, go deep down into myself, clear all garbage, drop all identities, find HIM, find my true self, realise that state of ‘Egolessness’ and get established there…………………….

With lots and lots of LOVE to ALL of YOU !

love to all of you till then. 

The word ‘Love’ has various connotations to it. As many connotations as the number of people who think about it and contemplate upon its meaning! The mother’s love to her children, the love between siblings, love and affection between spouses, the love between a Guru and a Shishya, love for God, the love among friends, the love we have for our pets, the love of the country, the love for a noble cause dear to us and so many others and then the most prevalent meaning as understood by ordinary mortals, the love between a young girl and a boy that has been celebrated through out human civilization in various forms of art and literature.

This love between a couple – a boy and a girl, a man and a woman, between two people of the same gender, as it is coming out of the closet more and more these days, generally have three faces to it. The intimacy, passion and the commitment. The generation and sustanance of love between two people depends on the amount of these three ingredients in different proportions.

First of all it is the physical attraction that brings two people close together. This attraction is triggered by the proximity of the two people. Perhaps they live in the same neighbourhood or study in the same class/college or work in the same company or may travel together to workplace. (It need not always be the physical proximity. It can even be the frequent proximity over an electronic medium like this, where the physical attraction exists only in imagination! ) This proximity helps develop  aquaintence that may lead to excahnge of ideas and opinions. When the similarities in ideas and ideals become known, the attraction may grow stronger. They can come closer to each other  emotionally too and sparks fly, making the relationship a passionate one! But sometimes it is mere physical attraction that leads to passion and it may or may not last long. It may be just infatuation and may die down soon.

The emotional closeness leads to intimacy wherein the two individuals are ready to care and share. They may develop concern for each other’s wellbeing that leads to lot of sharing of personal information. This intimacy can lead to passion when the two may desire sexual intimacies. But their love may not feel complete until they feel committed to each other in this relationship. It is this commitment that takes them to the marriage altar.

Out of these three ingredients of intimacy, passion and commitment, passion may not last very long. After few years into relationship, it is bound to wane. It continues its existence, but not on the top of the list. Without a burning passion also, two people can remain good friends. It is the intimacy that keeps them close. Lot of sharing and caring continue to happen that keep them together. They show concern for each other and help the other resolve so many issues. In certain cases love can just be a platonic relationship (without hint of sexual desire between the two) being good friends and being there for each other in case of any crisis.  Coming back to what we were discussing, some times, the intimacy may slowly decline in relationships because of so many factors, like, getting too involved in their own careers, excessive indulgence in undesirable habits like drinking and gambling or even extra marital relationships.  People then slowly drift apart emotionally. They may even go in for a legal separation. But in some cases the commitment that they have made to each other can still bind them together, in the common interest of others who are depending on them.

Now a days we see lot of passion between a couple in the initial stages of friendship, which they may mistakenly believe as love. During the passionate moments they would have revealed their intimate matters to each other. But when passion dies and no commitment binding them, they can break apart leading to the emotional devastation of both.

It is this set of passionate couple that may go overboard celebrating Valentine’s day in all its elation. They shower expensive gifts to each other, dine at the most upmarket restaurant, promising everlasting love to each other. But without the commitment, it just can not last long. Many would be nursing a commitment phobia! How long can they go on like this? One of the partners is bound to seek the commitment in this relationship and the other partner feels that it is time to quit!

These days there are many ‘no-strings-attached’ casual relationships that both young girls and boys are ready to carry on. But it can have very serious repercussions, both on physical and mental health. They can not tread this path ignoring all the warning signs well written on the wall. Somewhere they need feel responsible for themselves and also the other person involved and wake up from this foolish stupor.

Marriage requires commitment. It can have the other two -passion and intimacy also in equal measures. To continue the commitment ’till death do us part’, lot of adjustments and compromises are needed. Subtle sacrifices are done. Love and trust are the strong pillars that keep the couple together. One needs to work on it like in any other relationship. No body can take the partner for granted. Mutual respect need to be accorded, space given to each other and yet feel totally connected. Valentine’s day or no valentine’s day, the intimate emotional bond can continue to get strengthened over the years……………….

All the above mentioned love are limited, conditional. If conditions are not fulfilled, then love disappears. But there can also be a love of a different kind that is limitless and unconditional! It is beyond bodily love or commitmental love. This love is in all our hearts. It is a gift that comes with creation. We are not aware of it. When we are ready to give that love unconditionally to others, the spring of love can overflow. It can touch every heart that comes in contact with that flow. This love is beyond gender, race or religion. It is the ultimate love that can soak everybody and is therepeutic to all. It can be panacea for all illnesses. It is spiritual. You just have to look within and unleash it. It can spread everywhere and pervade the whole universe. More you are ready to give, more it gets replenished. That is the Truth, the auspicious and the beautiful – Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram!

And it is this Love that I am giving all of you on this Valentine’s Day. I have no expectations of reciprocation from the other end.  I simply give becoz I have it in abundance! And I love giving

Love you all!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

They have found out that wearing high heeled shoes can boost a woman’s sexual desire, as walking with high heeled shoes improves the strength of pelvic floor muscles thus upping her sex life!!!

Can anything be more stupid than advising wearing high heel shoes to improve strength of pelvic muscles? Are there no better exercises to improve ones muscles than to resort to heeled shoes?? Have we all not heard of people breaking their back bones by falling down, unable to balance themselves with a pair of high heels? How many ladies suffer twists in ankle bones, tear in the ligaments, postural faults, all because they could not manage their steps while climbing stairs or by walking on uneven surfaces with these shoes on?

Podiatrists (foot specialists) say that the anatomical position of a heeled shoe wearer is abnormal. This causes lot of stress to the feet as well as to the back bone. This leads to many stress fractures to the foot bones. This also leads to foot ailments, swelling of toes, shooting pain caused by injuries to foot nerves, swelling of the balls of feet etc.

When such is the long list of ‘rewards’ for the high heeled shoe wearer, was there any need to pump in funds to this kind of research to declare another ‘attractive’  result of increased libido for the wearer?! I wonder which woman would want to break her bones, have plastered limbs, be bed-ridden with a ‘high- libido’ !

Any takers???